How can I stop myself...?

Haven't come here for ages. I almost forgot the routine to write a blog, and darn it, I feel like my English is starting to deteriorate!!! NNNNOOOOO!!!

Alright, here's the deal, I'll pour everything out here and please please please don't let too many people see it, ok? Ok, I'm getting a little crazy now because this might be quite impossible... but I can't stop getting emo sometimes...

Sigh... I dunno, I resent myself for growing up a little late. I wished I would have spent my teens having as much fun as possible, which is what I didn't get to do now. My teenage was wasted on being a goody-two-shoe studying and living under the rocks with my parents sheltering me from the outside world. Ok, maybe it wasn't wasted - at least I still finished secondary school and Diploma with adequately good grades. But I would very much like to have more... FUN, you know, like what teens these days usually do. I wouldn't say I'm a weirdo during my teens, but compared to others, I'm still pretty isolated.

So... here I am, on my first age that doesn't end with "teen" anymore. Somehow, my friends have all established their own images and seem to be very consistent with it. However, here I am, starting to evolve and starting to become a person that I normally am not. It's a little overwhelming because... I know how I'm actually like - crazy, dissipated, dissolute, unconventional - yet I care so much about what people think of me, and I really hate it if it's full of negativity.

People always think of me as the nerdy, girl-next door who stays at home everyday studying, who only goes out with her parents escorting her, who strongly despises alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex, breaking the law etc immoral acts. The truth it, I couldn't care less. Not that I actually LOVE these things, but I'm cool with it. I don't care it if people want to take drugs and have one night stands. I believe in personal freedom and we shouldn't be bothered by things that do not concern us. I know I'm not a good friend because I don't give a damn what my friends do, because there's no right or wrong. But it's not like I WILL do it... I know my limits and I'm still sane, ok? And when I start to be cool with these things, people will be like, "OMG, look at her! So, she's actually such a b!tch inside. Oh God, we've been fooled by her demure and docile appearance!" Jeezz... WTF... there's this idiom... what is it... oh yeah, don't judge a book by its cover... haven't heard of that? So shut up! I'm a good girl! Yeah, I'm prideful like that.

I sense that some people have already started to think otherwise of me. More than half of me doesn't want to give a shit what they think, yet it still bothers a pinch of me. Plus, I'm not an extraordinarily happy person and I don't get sober often, I tend to think a little tad bit more. Hence the emo me... hell no, I don't like these thoughts at all - who does, anyway?

My parents have begun to slowly "un-protecting" me now, giving me more and more freedom as time flies by. I'm really, like REALLY REALLY thrilled about this because this is what I've been wishing for for the last twenty years. BUT, but... I kinda miss it... I WILL miss it. I don't admit it, but deep down inside I know I'm so used to being a little princess underneath their protective wings and even though I'm getting what I yearn for, I know I will miss it. Without them, I'll gradually turn into an ass-sucking whore who's always out of control. That'll totally erode my image... yeah, FOR SURE!!

Sorry for the super depressing post. I need somewhere to let it out but I don't know where the heck my diary went. Whatever... just forget it if you think this is too much for you to read.

Hola!!

Ages since I've came here! The truth is... I lost the password. Well, it's not like it matters to me since I'm kinda thinking of abandoning this blog and opening a new one at Wordpress. But thinking of the past posts I've written, and how just abandoning this blog here will cause a waste of resources (?) for this Blogspot I've decided to keep writing here. Well, at least once in a blue moon. Hehehe...

So... now I'm in KL now, the wonderful city I've always regarded it as... (of course nothing beats renowned cities like New York, Sydney and Tokyo... but KL is the closest I could get to). The funny thing is... once I've lived here, I don't feel anything special about it anymore. I no longer feel thrilled to live here. I don't know why... maybe it's the house I'm currently living in, which is... pardon me, an extreme wreck. I TOTALLY regret accepting their offer to stay here. I always feel this envy rushing over me whenever I go to my friends' houses, because no matter how, their houses are always so much elegant than mine. Sigh... the bad thing, is that I can only move out next year, because of contractual issues. And till now, I still haven't found a decent place to live in, with decent housemates, because I certainly don't wish to live with people who I hardly communicate with (eg: my current housemates). I want a place where it always keeps me wanting to go home. Now I just always want to go out and avoid staying at home as much as possible. Sigh... alright... perhaps it's just that I can't click well with my housemates. No one's fault in particular.

The shopping malls are great, however! Too bad, the heavy traffic is such a put off for the desire to go shopping. And not to mention the parking fees! (*gasps* blood rushes to brain) RM 6 per entry! That day, just for the sake of watching Harry Potter, I fished out RM 14 for parking. =.= Now I miss Gurney Plaza so much.

And my studies... to be honest, I don't have the motivation to study at all. I think I completely flunk Financial Accounting test and some of the assignments. Plus, why are the subjects this semester so UBER BORING?? And because of my lack of drive in studying, I think I might have spent a little TOO much since I came here. Not to mention having the courage to tell my parents what awesome stuff I've bought. Ahem...

I have totally NO IDEA how to live on. Just go with the flow. I've always wanted a busy but meaningful life, but now, I'm living neither of it.

Just a genuine rant...

I just noticed, that I haven't changed the imeem song in my blog for ages. Well, I have tried changing it but the codes were all screwed up! I guess I'll be stuck to this song forever. But it's still a good song!

Alright... a few consecutive posts about K-Pop, which is currently my ultimate love, I guess it's time for some real-life updates? I really can't remember where to start from. Some of the more interesting things were like... I'm going down to KL in two months' time? Seriously, I won't deny, it's nerve-wrecking. This will the first time I'm going to live by myself. I HAVE confidence that I can survive well, but just realising the fact that I'll be leaving a lot of things behind, and facing a lot of things ahead is giving me the chills. After all, I'm not a frequent KL citizen. I'll leave room for doubts on my subsequent life over there.

But one thing is for sure, KL is totally suitable for a city girl like me. Even though the chance for me to slip out to the malls to (window) shop is slim, I'd still like to think that it gives me a great space for exposure. =D Plus, think of all the cash INflow I will get when I work.

I'm not sure who else will be going with me. My friends are ALL soooo undecided, and knowing them, they'll leave the decision-making until the very last second.

I'm trying VERY hard to get a 100% scholarship from TARC now, that's why I'm studying my ASS out this semester. Dad has been UNusually smothering lately. For... over ten years he has NEVER said, "Go and study!" to me, but within these two weeks he has been throwing that at my face all the time. Halleluyah... >< Well, my current CGPA is right at the border, 3.85, which is the minimum I'll have to get in order to be qualified for the shcolarship. That's why.

*yawn* Test is coming up the day after tomorrow, and I have NOT studied even half of the covered syllabus!! Damn it... see what self-pressure has turned me into...

B to the I to the G to the BANG!!!

YESS!!! It's my new obsession! I know I am getting insanely addicted to K-Pop but I just can't help it! Now I'm just so overwhelmed with all my fandoms and I just can't seem to keep track of them properly anymore. I couldn't care less, though. Plus, I have a friend at college who shares the same interests with me so I'm not totally alone spazzing about them. Lin could be very obsessed if she wants to, and sometimes she could get worse than me. I mean, I'm not the one who would watch We Got Married until 4am and there is exam at 9am.

Alright, I know I've been on hiatus for ages and now it's time to update! *I actually plan to move my blog to Wordpress but timid me is so afraid of getting used to new mechanism again*

From l-r: Dae Sung, G-Dragon, Tae Yang, TOP, Seung Ri

I think this is the best picture I have of them. Sorry, I'm still in the midst of searching for new pictures. As I've said, it's not easy to keep track of the 7 pop groups I'm in love right now.


Dae Sung is my first love of Big Bang! Ok he lacks in the appearance but nobody could ever resist his vocal. I mean, HAVE YOU FREAKING HEARD HARU HARU??? He was the best in there! I swear I almost pass off everytime I heard his voice. He has the sweetest and most mesmerising of all. Currently he hosts a variety show, Family Outing together with my goddess, Hyori, and I'd say, he does a good job as a host, too! I love his comical expressions and actions. The only thing I do when I see him is... laugh. Ha-ha-ha!


G-Dragon... arrgghh, I'll just call him his real name, Ji Yong. Well, his stage name is derived directly from his real name actually. G = Ji, Dragon = Yong. Nobody bothers calling him GD anyway. Yong Yong sounds better! Hehehe... he's the leader of the group, although not the eldest. What I like about him is that he reveals his true self on-screen. He doesn't fake a I'm-so-princey image just because he belongs to an idol group. Have you seen him participating in an interview while sitting on the couch with his legs on the chair? That's rude, yeah, but get real, peeps! Nothing is rude or not rude in this era! I sit like this when I eat as well!! XD I love his shy smile, too! Personally, I think he has a very good voice, but for some reason he just strains it when he sings. This is why I never enjoyed his version of Look At Only Me. And I think he doesn't need to run the rapper route; he would make a very good singer. As for fashion, he is always said being the fashion guru in the group. Well, sometimes I find his style a little... odd for my taste, but I do notice he has the trendiest accessories hung on him. I swear, he has the weirdest hair of all!!!


Tae Yang is the lead singer. I was being extremely put off when I first saw him because he just looks like a jerk when he doesn't smile. And what kind of hairdo is that?? I only fell (very hard) when I watched Look At Only Me's MV. This guy is just another heartthorb!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS VOICE! Did you see his cute eyes forming two lines when he smiles? That's the cutest thing he has ever done! I LOLed so hard when Dae Sung and he were being asked who started the eye-smile trend, and Dae Sung said that Tae Yang was born first so he started it first.


TOP... erm... to be honest, I hated him the most before I knew about Big Bang. He's just too bad-boyish to me. Well, his eyes are very beautiful (inherent. ALL his family members have the same eyes. And his sister is such a belle!!) but I don't particularly find a linking for him. Not until now... Ahem... he's the rapper of the group, and so you could understand why he has such an attitude. Behind-the-scenes, well he's just like the other members, fooling around all the way. I guess I need some time to get a little warmed up.


Lastly is the magnae Seung Ri!!! He's absolutely adorable!!! I've mentioned tons of times that he's also extremely cocky, but I just find him difficult to be hated. I think this is because of my weakness for confident guys. This dude has infinity confidence and he is seriously in love with himself. When I first saw him I thought he's the goody-two-shoes because he looked so much like a boy-next-door back then. Recently they've been letting him carrying the sexy image for the group, pairing him up with girls in dances and performances. I'm not jealous, but I just miss his ex-image. I want his nerdy look back so much!!! What's lovely about him is also his dark circles. Those are his imprinted trademarks, I don't think I've seen any other celebrities with such prominent circles. Oh well, Ji Yong has them sometimes, too, but I think Seung Ri has it worse. He is considered the best dancer of the group, but I think Tae Yang is sleeker than him. Hahaha...

And lastly, WHOA!!! This is probably the CUTEST CF I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!


You see? You see?!!! I should have just shown this video earlier and just save my energy in typing such a long ass post!!! HMMPPHH!!!

SHINee - SHINee World

SHINee – SHINee World
Release Date: 29 August 2008
This review is written by Nian Xi. It is a personal opinion, and no personal attacks are intended.

1. The SHINee World (doo-bop)
2. 사랑의 길 (Love's Way) Sarangui Gil
3. 산소 같은 너 (Love like Oxygen) Sanso Gateun Neo
4. 너 아니면 안되는 걸 (ROMANTIC) Neo Animyeon Andwae Neungeol
5. 그녀가 헤어졌다 (One for Me) Geunyeoga Heojyeotda
6. 화장을 하고 (Graze) Hwajangeul Hago
7. 마지막 선물 (Last Gift) (In my room-Prelude) Majimak Seonmul
8. 내 곁에만 있어 (Best Place) Naegyeote Manisseo
9. 혜야 (Y Si Fuera Ella) Hye Ya
10. 눈을 감아보면 (Four Seasons) Nunmeul Gama Bomyeon
11. In My Room (Unplugged Remix)
12. 누난 너무 예뻐 (Replay) Noona Neomu Yebbeo

SHINee released their first album for their debut, entitled SHINee World, which is also the name of their fanbase. Compared to their previous mini-album, Replay, this album displays SHINee as individuals who are beginning to shred their images as teenagers and trying to venture into the adult world. They croon more ballads than expected, which is in contrast with their bright and sunny identities.

The title track, The SHINee World, is an upbeat production, which is a very relevant portrayal of SHINee’s intended image as a contemporary group. The song has dynamic techno music, with lyrics custom-tailored as an official introduction to the newly debuted group. Despite its being a fast track, the harmonization done is close to flawless. The unique part of the song has to be Min Ho’s rapping near the end – he wrote the lyrics himself - where he introduces each member together with their monikers.

The current hit of the album is Love Like Oxygen, which is a remake of Martin Hoberg Hedegaard’s Show The World, at a lower key. Jong Hyun’s voice sounds a little strained when he does the verses, even though he has a voice that resembles Martin’s. It may not be a typical song that many prefer, but the song is well done as a group song overall.

For the ballads, the most outstanding tracks have to be Love’s Way and Romantic. Both songs have very soothing melodies, in which the lead singers - Jong Hyun, Onew, and Key - proudly show off their extraordinary vocal styles. Romantic tingles listeners with moved emotions, while Love’s Way adds a more novel and refreshing feel to the album. In My Room (Unplugged Remix) is an acoustic version of the original song, accompanied by a piano piece, complete with smooth harmonization. Last Gift is also embraced by a beautiful piano melody flowing seamlessly throughout the song. The lyrics of these songs are written sentimentally, reflecting the boys’ anticipation of what love could give.

One For Me, Graze, and Best Place are some of the mid-tempo tracks collected in the album. Although they have similar beats, they are still enjoyable to be listened to in their own ways. Best Place has light-hearted music and is very pleasant to the ears. Four Seasons has a slower pace, but it is a disappointment as it does not leave very profound impression.

Jong Hyun has done a solo song, Hye Ya, which is a cover of Y Si Fuera Ella, a Spanish song by singer Alejandro Sanz. The song is relatively difficult to sing to, but Jong Hyun has shown the world his ability to twist and turn his vocal frequently, and still manages to give a perfect performance of the song.

Replay was included in their mini-album as the title track. It is catchy and the rhythm is addictive, and it is potentially the song chosen to be played repeatedly in your iPod. Unlike most love songs, the lyrics speak of the affection that a younger boy has for a girl who is older than him. Thus, Replay stands out a lot among many title songs. Interestingly enough, the song has also helped SHINee successfully attract a colossal number of noona fans, which is the reason why the group plummeted to popularity in a short period of time.

It is an amazement how these five newcomers could produce a stellar album at such tender ages. Jong Hyun plays an impressive tenor of the group with his frequent belting; Onew has a wide vocal range; Key projects a distinct voice; and Min Ho blazes with his strong rapping skills. The youngest Tae Min has his fair contribution to the songs. Sadly, his vocal is weak and is often overpowered by the other members’ voices. Other than brilliant vocals, the album also excels with smooth music textures. With this successful debut, SHINee holds all the aces to emerge as stars with multiple talents.

***

This is the first formal and more professional review that I write for celebrity album. I was actually doing it for a forum, and I think I quite enjoy it. I might consider doing more reviews in the future. =D