Sheer worries

I just realised...

...that all of my house mates in UK still have outstanding exam papers as of now.

Please let them get through safely this time round.

I don't want to live alone in the UK...

Nobody knows...

I need a counselor. Very badly...

This is taking its toll on me...

Please help...

Where is the justice???

I feel horrible.

Just heard that lots of students fail our last semester papers.

This is constituting so much pressure on me, especially when money is involved. Firstly, I'll have to spend to resit the failing papers if any, and I'm taking a huge gamble this time round. I'll have less than three weeks to study for the next seating and it will be my last ever chance. Who the hell can finish revision in three weeks, especially when the subject(s) is so despicable? If I fail again, bye bye UK. My deposit for the UK air tickets will be gone. Perhaps my deposit for the university as well. I heard that they can carry forward it to the next year, but I'm so skeptical about having my money tied up in something that I'm not sure if I'll be able to attain to. Going to the UK in the next year will be a burden as well because of the Olympic Games, which will certainly push up the value of the Sterling Pound. And also, it will also mean I have been wasting my time these few months waiting to go to the UK while I end up getting to know that I'm not qualified to go...

As if that isn't enough, failing my examination will entail not only my disappointment, but also my parents' disappointment. So fail = three disappointments. Worthy? I know how much my parents, especially my dad wants me to pursue my studies in the UK and this will be my chance. I definitely hate to be a wet blanket in this case, when he has always had so high hopes on me considering I have always done well in the past. Mum will probably be more concerned about her loss of money; the result is none of us will be happy.

I really hate the college for not coming up with a strategic arrangement in relation to our summer programme. Firstly, I really don't understand what is taking the board so long to finalise our examination results. And why does our course have to be the last to know our results when we are the ones who will be going to the UK? Everything is so packed for us. There is no contingency plans for us, too. At least prepare something that will ensure that we are able to go to the UK smoothly, OR make sure that we are able to retrieve all of our money back if else fails. I thought colleges are supposed to by all means do everything that is beneficial to the students' welfare. But I don't see how efficient the current system is running. We, as students, are left in so much uncertainties and yet we don't get a complete reassurance. So yeah, all they care about is money. Have fun in toying around with us. Like, this will help uphold the college's reputation? The irony!! =.=

I hope I could bite someone now if it could help me release my stress. Grrr...

It's harder than I thought...

I thought I've already prepared for the worst.

But it's so much harder than I thought.

What is to become of me?

..........

Regrets...

Why do you regret over things that have passed? Why are you always, ALWAYS like this? "If only... if only..." Don't you get tired of these two words? Do they do you any good? How far can you proceed if you keep thinking about the past? Why can't you just move on? You always say, "The human's eyes are built to stare to the front, so we shouldn't look back", but why are you contradicting yourself and doing something the complete opposite? You must be like drama, yeah?

Sometimes I really hate you... you gave yourself such an unpleasant teenage life and now you keep complaining about it. So? What else can you do? Oh, just move on! You have decades and decades to go. If you start complaining about life's incessant deficiencies, how are you going to endure the ongoing tides that are about to come? You'll just render yourself in dead ends...

For goodness' sake, just wake up already!!